Why do some people give up and others don’t?

In my 18 years in the sports industry, as a trainer, nutritionist and motivational coach, I have noticed that some people, as soon as they start training, putting together a nutrition and exercise program, give up very quickly, as soon as they encounter the first problem. After experiencing even one failure or hearing someone say “you won’t make it,” they give up on their goals and dreams.

On the other hand, I have also noticed that some people NEVER give up. They have extraordinary stubbornness and never give up on their aspirations. People like a bulldog that doesn’t let bone fall out of its teeth. And the more you try to take that bone away from him, the more he holds on to it.

What is the difference between these two types of people?

Psychologists say they have an answer. It is very important to understand that to achieve results in sports, you need to learn that “there is no such thing as failure; there is only one result. You don’t ‘fail’, you get a result.”

In the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) there is a principle that I first heard in the late 1980s from performance expert Anthony Robbins. It’s a principle that really stuck with me because it’s a very powerful mindset.

Many people get burnt out and worn out, consequently abandoning what they started only because what they tried wasn’t immediately successful. They consider it an insurmountable problem, but all they need is to change their mentality a little, to free themselves from the “frames” in which they have imprisoned themselves.

Instead of saying, “this is a failure,” they might say to themselves, “this is my accomplishment,” and that “this is only temporary.” Such a change in perspective will change the way they feel and how they develop mentally, explains their experience. This will turn into a learning opportunity and valuable feedback that will force you to change your path for the better instead of the path to failure. This will keep you going and improving.

Everything is determined by the outcome and your interpretation of it

Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, has done incredible research on this topic and wrote a book on the topic called Learned Optimism. He noticed the difference between people who give up and those who never give up and strive to achieve their goals. This difference is the “interpretive style”. The style in which we explain or interpret negative events or failures.

People accustomed to giving up explain everything in terms of irreplaceability. Let’s say they reach a point in their progress where they stop progressing and they explain it by saying: “diet doesn’t work”, “I have bad genetics, so I will always be fat”… These explanations represent their mentality, their belief in irreplaceability.

Other people also interpret it differently when they reach this point. They say things like, “I ate too much bad, unhealthy food this week,” or “I still haven’t found a diet that works for my body type.” Here, these interpretations portray the results as only temporary.

People who see achievement as a constant failure are those who give up easily and attribute their failures to other areas of their life or even to a different understanding of themselves. It’s one thing to say, “I ate badly this week because I traveled” (belief in an act and environment that is only temporary) and another thing to say, “I’m fat because my genetics are like that” (belief in immutability).

Remember, obesity is a temporary condition, not a personality

People who see challenges and obstacles as temporary and valuable experiences are the ones who never give up. If you learn from your experiences, don’t repeat past mistakes, and never give up, your success will be inevitable.